When we talk always have to remind myself to give myself too aggressive, so can retreat into their own, which is like on the battlefield, like forward and attack, retreat, which has a solid rear, attack each other, but also, and is withdrawn, still in the driving position. Although not necessarily invincible, but it will not suffer a big phenomenon.
For this, the former United States President Franklin has a wonderful description: "I am bound by my own behavior when, in an increasingly reasonable to me, I used to have a column with the only constraint checklist had a deeds. on that table row with only twelve virtues, and later, a friend told me that I have some pride, pride often say that this manifested in conversation, people think I'm arrogant, so I immediately noticed the friend this rare piece of advice to give me, I immediately thought this would be sufficient awareness and affect my future development. then I especially noticed listed on the table 'modest' one, specialized attention. I said, it must strive to avoid all direct contact or hurt others feelings, even my own ban on the use of all the determined expressions such as 'of course', 'must', etc., but with the 'maybe', 'I want' instead. relationship between speech and the cause of success and failure the relationship you if the gaffe, arguing with others, then you will not be able to obtain the sympathy of others, other people's cooperation, the help of others, the support of others, appreciation of others. "
When you want to talk, give yourself too aggressive, the need to pay attention to the following points:
-: Do not say that too far, then, contrary to common sense to common sense.
Everything has its own truth exists, personnel have their own existence makes sense. When speaking, if contrary to the common sense of common sense, it will leave to others the tongue. Therefore, in the conversation, then do not say too far to remember that, contrary to the common sense of common sense.
I have heard two salesmen for the same commodity rhetoric on the train. They sell the same new products: spiral socks. In order to show that the socks breathable, the first pick up a sock salesman, said:. "To help out, hold the sock end, pulling from" Then, he and a customer to pull up , socks toughness really good. Then he pick up a long needle, pull on socks Bengzhi paddling back and forth, socks and no injuries, said:. "Look, this is not easy to snag socks" Then he took since lighters, socks following a brisk shake, flames through the socks, and the socks are not damaged. After he introduced some socks look pass in the hands of customers. A customer intends to pick up the needle, just a draw in a hole in the sock draw, if the original plan is not easy to cut down the wrinkle treatment is not zoned not broken. Another customer want a lighter to burn, anxious salesman hasten to add, said:. "Socks not burn vain, I just prove its good air permeability," Finally, we finally understand how, quality socks did not say, but it was atmosphere significantly affect the customer's consumer sentiment.
The second salesman, also went on demonstration, but he noted the scientific reports, some say very thoughtful presentation. He had this to say: "? Of course, everything has its scientific, socks how not to go again I will burn just to prove its good air permeability, it is also not wear is not broken, that the steel will wear." This statement presentation did not give nature? prick customers an opportunity to leave. Then, while he passed for everyone to see socks, while explaining promotional discount prices, sales results significantly better than the previous one salesman.
Two: then do not say never
Perhaps Einstein's "Theory of Relativity" deep-rooted reason, people like to consider a relatively thinking, something absolute, psychologically there is a sense of exclusion. For example, when you categorically said: "The fact is this kind entirely." At this time there will be two kinds of psychological ideas of others: First, be sure your ask: "Is not bad," Maybe you express the truth but his mental always wondering, "is not bad" when he will comprehend your words a little forest for the trees. It would be better to say: "The truth is like this."
If we are still not completely clear their own thing, or a representative of my personal views, not even those with the absolute word, because that would cause your absolute suspicion of others, and even cause offense to others. Around us, there are many such people, they believe in themselves, if they have not had time to think, and others in the front so it is safe to say that you will feel yourself behind, will naturally aversion. They will be psychological, said: "It's like I do not believe even say:?." I hate this person. "For example, once, the first time two strangers meet, chat for everyone concerned about the issue:" The relationship between morality and the rule of law. One said: "This issue is only wise see wisdom, eyes of the beholder problem." While another added:. "In this society, we must talk about the rule of law, do not need to talk about morality," he later conversation from the point of view, he meant said that in the present society, Renxinbugu, when the morality of some people is of no use, so you must use the legal system to solve the problem. But his words are too absolute, causing the other side of discontent, and immediately asked him: "Social unreasonable is not enough, he had his own words and explain it again.
Therefore, in the conversation, even though we absolutely sure thing, they should not be saying too absolute, something likely to cause absolute prick others. The reality is that if the other party intends to prick, really can pick stabbed. Give someone a prick to their excuse, as the saying mildly. At the same time, if we do not put words were absolutely, we can also wider space deal with each other.
Three: Speak consistent, honest and trustworthy.
And others things in his speech, but also pay attention not to appear before and after the conflict, to maintain consistency. Inconsistency is a taboo, contradictory place where others are often vulnerable to attack, and often very powerful attack that can make us speechless, such as office colleagues Jiamou Pingmou want to know the relationship with the Director of asked Jiamou said: "? Have you been director of the home you" Jiamou Pingmou certainly do not want to let this kind of thing, he said:. "director also recently bought a set of furniture," "No," said Jiamou said Pingmou : "It was Wan Shan brand, the color is better." in two to one to one conversation, Pingmou know, must have been director Gumou home, or how he knew so well yet.
Speak to be honest and trustworthy. There is a customer in order to make their own living room perfect, want to buy a real leather sofas. The customers to the city a large variety of goods store to go shopping. Sellers happily took him sofa department. When customers see an attraction to his couch, he asked the price, the seller told him. Customers actually so low price of this leather sofa (and only half expected him) said in surprise, vendors assures customers that it really is a bargain, so it is popular. Customers sit down on the couch, feeling good. He stood up, paced around the sofa, admired. Sofa indeed very beautiful. Customers found themselves once again for such a price is so cheap leather sofas expressed surprise, and decided to buy it.
Subsequently, the customer told the salesman: "I have to put a high-quality coffee table before this sofa." So he went to a coffee table department. The way, the customer saw another sofa, and just goes very similar, he went past, a lot of careful observation, and sat down. The customer could not decide which one he really liked. He asked the price, the price when the salesman told him, he was taken aback: This sofa is just twice the couch of his order. Customers asked: "Why this expensive?" Seller: "This is real leather."
Customer: "? Goes that I just ordered what I thought of it the material it is leather." Seller: "couch, all parts in contact with the people, that is the top of the cushion, armrests and backrest are dermis, however, rely on the bottom of the hand, bottom sofa, leather back is after I assure you, there is no difference between the two will be seen, and that the durability of leather and leather appearance as much as "customers.: "My friends, why do not you start telling me not all leather goes it?" vendor: "I would like to say, you can then turn the subject, however, I'm not the kind of deliberately telling lies to their customers. person. "
But, anyway, the customer or canceled his original order. Moreover, he was not only in the day that store to buy anything in the next decade, but also from that store no longer cares, because he has no confidence in where salespeople and merchandise.
From the above example, we can draw this lesson: speak honestly the best strategy is not only selling, but also unique.
Four: something to say too mellow
When we talk with others for a purpose, then we should say mellow some, saying too straight, will be irritated each other, even in one's own rationale. Said a little mellow, leave us some leeway, calmly achieve the purpose of our conversation.
For example: a family hotel staff found that the tenant Ms. He, the night before the account has been closed, you can still live today in the room, but this is what the manager lady friend, how to do it? If and when Ms. He directly ask leave, it is rude, but if you do not ask, afraid Ms. He bilk. We discuss the decision by a good public relations Miss Lee to talk to and what to talk about his wife. Miss Li knocked on the door of Mrs. Ho, said:!? "!? Hello lady is what you do" "Yes ah who you are," Ms. He said. "I was the public relations department, you come a few days, we have not had time to look at you, I'm sorry to hear that your body uncomfortable few days ago, and now a good point of it?" "Thank you for your concern better. "" I heard you yesterday checkout, today did not go into these days, bad weather, the plane is not canceled? do you think we can do something! "" thank you very much! checkout last night because I was to return to a friend today, I do not want to post too much plot, the first knot for once, the doctor said that my disease still need a period of observation. "" Ms. He, you do not mention it, there is something just told well. ""Thank you! something I will find you." we see, Miss Li went to Ms. He talks aim is to figure out, in the end is a go or not to go? If you do not go, you can clear reasons. But the question was not opening, calling both offend Ms. He, and against the manager. Miss Lee's words are very mellow, first greeting at what then asked Ms. He needs help, a pair of very concerned expression, leaving Ms. He was deeply moved, imperceptibly to explain why. Miss Li discourse virtuosity, great room for maneuver. Discourse virtuosity, great room for maneuver. Discourse virtuosity, great room for maneuver. Discourse virtuosity, great room for maneuver.